I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. Yeah, I know, some of you might think that’s an oxymoron seeing as I’m a romance writer and all. And I’m sure some of my girlfriends over the years thought I didn’t like it because I was single on February 14th. So, it is with great satisfaction that this year (that I’m not single), I can stand up and repeat it:
I’m immune to the Valentine stuff.
Sort of.
Allow me to elaborate. The way I see it, Valentine’s is a men’s yearly exam; an exam they most often than not fail. I don’t know if it’s because they cringe at the mere possibility of expressing their emotions (God forbid!) or they’re plain too lazy to think of something meaningful to get us, but the fact of the matter is every year just before the dreaded V day, a collective male groan echoes throughout the universe.
On the other hand, women (or most of us anyway) look forward to this day as something special. Is it because we spend the rest of the year trying to decipher our significant other’s emotions and we count on this day to fan the flames of our hope that we are loved back? Is it vanity? Is it because simply put we like getting gifts? Hell if I know, but any way you look at it Valentine’s day is our day. You don’t see men wondering what they’ll get, do you?
Past experience has taught me not to put much stock on big gestures. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have dinner at a fancy restaurant and get a diamond bracelet (to this day, it hasn’t happened), but that wouldn’t mean much if the rest of the year my boyfriend didn’t act the way a boyfriend should. I could care less about the bracelet if he comes to drive me where I have to go when my car is at the shop (groan and all) or if he thinks to get me a coffee from Starbucks if he happens to be downtown where I work.
It’s the little things that matter.
All the stupid commercials with the flowers, chocolate, trips to Venice etc. make us forget that sometimes. Sure, it’s not the best thing in the world if your man completely forgets about it or brushes it aside, but is it really worth pouting, getting mad and/or putting stress on an otherwise good relationship? Because, really…if the relationship isn’t much to begin with, don’t expect Valentine’s to save the day. Save yourself and walk away.
My point (yes, I had a point)…when my boyfriend handed me my present yesterday, I have to admit I was a bit mortified. a) We haven’t been together for more than two months so the chances of success were minimum, and b) The bag was big. Which meant if it was something ugly, it would be difficult to hide when I wore it. Because of course I would have to wear it a dozen times to show the BF I liked it. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn…
I had to be staring at the bag like it was Pandora’s Box because I heard him chuckle right before he said, “Thanks for the vote of confidence, baby.” I glanced at him with guilty eyes. Why, oh why couldn’t I have a poker face? I hate the fact I can’t hide what I’m feeling. It should be engraved on my fricking DNA, shouldn’t it? Anyway, I gave him a small smile since I knew I was busted and tore in the bag.
Miracle of miracles.
The man had gotten it right. I hoped the fact my head was down meant he didn’t see the surprise that must’ve been written all over my face. After the two seconds it took me to swallow it, I looked up, laughter spilling from my lips. “A trilby!”
I know what you’re thinking…some gift. BUT. I’d been talking (okay, whining) about wanting a trilby every time I saw one in a movie, a magazine or on a girl walking by the street for weeks (@ScreaminLacey‘s avatar didn’t help matters I tell ya), and the fact he had thought of getting me one meant more than a stupid diamond bracelet. My heart actually skipped a beat (yeah, sappy but there you have it) as I hugged him tight, careful not to squash my new hat between us.
So yeah, I still think Valentine’s Day isn’t something to fret over and shouldn’t make or break a relationship or determine how a person feels about their significant other, but I sure like it a lot more than last year because it made me a little bit more certain I’ve made a good choice. (And yes, the BF knows better than to walk by Starbucks and not get me a Caramel Macchiato).
The fact I’d finally gotten off my ass and bought a trilby myself the previous day is something I’ll take with me to the grave.
Disclaimer: This is my first ever blog post so I hope I didn’t bore you to death. That is all.



Miss Lisa I thoroughly enjoyed your first blog and I should accept that it is written from a women’s perspective. I agree wholeheartedly with your assertion that romantic gestures should be a daily occurrence and not saved up for one day a year. I feel the same way about Christmas and New Years too.
My personal opinion is that there are people of both genders who are terribly unromantic just as there are people of both genders who are hopeless romantics. It isn’t a yearly test for men, it is a yearly test for all people in a relationship.
It’s easy to be romantic in one off situations and it is easy to be romantic in the first flushes of a new relationship. The key for both Genders is to be able to continue the little gestures, you so perfectly described, over years and decades.
People shouldn’t measure how romantic someone is by what they give them, they should measure it by what they do for each other. It should always be a two way street.
My point, eventually, is that both genders have the propensity to fail romantically it isn’t solely a male failing.
Thank You for encouraging me to reply.
Please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors.
Good Luck and always wear your Trilby at an angle
SD42 x
Yay! Congrats & welcome to the blogging world!
Loved your first post dude. If I were a lesbo, you’d be my #1 blog girl crush!
I have to ask, wtf is a Trilby? I know – I should be shot at dawn…
Oh, ps: please get a comments follow upper plug in thingie so I can be mailed if/when you answer next time.
xxx
not bored at all!
I think you have it right it is not the commercial stiff of valentines day that is important, sure it is great to feel special. But it is the relationship as a whole that is so important.
Mr. Hank, you are my 1st commenter ever! So *big hug* Well, I’m not saying that women have the corner in the romance department, but Valentine’s isn’t such a big deal for men, is it? The majority of you won’t be upset if an anniversary goes by without you mentioning anything. I don’t know if there are many women out there who wouldn’t be hurt. And yes, you’re right, both parties in a relationship should make the effort to keep it alive. I never said otherwise.
Thank you for the warm welcome, Shebee! LMAO If I had a penny for every time I said “I’m through with men. I’m going to become a lesbian!”
Trilby is a hat of this type:
OK I installed the notifier plug in thingy but I’m not sure I did it right. If not, I’ll ask my website builder to lend a hand.
Hey, Sally-Jane. Yep, but it’s so easy to lose focus of that fact, especially with how fast life is.
Welcome to the blogosphere, Ms. Troy.
Lovely first post.
Set the bar high and challenge yourself to keep it up.
Like your style.
Smart boy. Sounds like a keeper..:)
I am so glad you found some love sweetheart. That makes me smile more than you can know! And welcome to the world of blogging BTW.
Mr. Andre! I’m very happy you liked my post. And my style.
Naaah I’m not going to keep him. I have my eyes set on you. :-p
Thank you, Ron. Yeah, it was about damn time. The funny thing is I used to hate blogging. Now I love it. There is no middle ground with me.